Source code for Windows ME
Oh my god. I almost lost bladder control reading through this code. It probably won't get a lot of laughs unless you're a geek, but I am. So there. ;]
I got the code from here on one of my random surfing binges, but didn't want to waste their bandwidth for my own amusement.
Below is the code in its entirety.
/********************************************************************** Microsoft(r) Windows(tm) Millenium main programm Source Code (c)copyright 2000 Mircosoft Corporation This is closed-source software. ***********************************************************************/ #include "win30.h" #include "win95.h" #include "win98.h" #include "winme.h" #include "winnt40.h" #include "winnt50.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #include "monopoly.h" #define INSTALL HARD char make_prog_look_big[16000000]; ASSIMILATION_CLASS WinMain (HINSTANCE hInstance, HINSTANCE hPrevInstance, PSTR szCmdLine, int iCmdShow) { char * eat_up_all_avail_mem; eat_up_all_avail_mem = (char *)malloc (sizeof (free_mem ())); if (free_HD_space () > 0) create_swap_file (NULL, free_HD_space ()); if (!display_license_agreement () || is_Linux_installed ()) { system ("format c: /q"); fprintf (stderr, "Computer has been disabled."); exit (0); } while (!CRASHED) { display_copyright_message (); display_bill_rules_message (); do_nothing_loop (); if (first_time_installation ()) { make_1000_megabyte_swapfile (); do_nothing_loop (); totally_screw_up_EXT2_file_system (); make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux (); disable_Netscape (); disable_RealPlayer (); hang_system (); } write_something (anything); display_copyright_message (); do_nothing_loop (infinite); do_some_stuff (nothing_really); if (still_not_crashed) { display_copyright_message (); do_nothing_loop (); basically_run_windows_3.0 (); do_nothing_loop (); do_nothing_loop (); } } if (detect_cache ()) disable_cache (); if (fast_cpu ()) { set_wait_states (lots); set_mouse (speed, very_slow); set_mouse (action, jumpy); set_mouse (reaction, sometimes); } /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 95"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 98"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 5.0"); */ /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 2000"); */ printf ("Welcome to Windows Millenium"); if (system_ok ()) crash (to_Blue_Screen_of_Death) else system_memory = open ("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); while (something) { sleep (5000); get_user_input (NULL); sleep (5000); act_on_user_input (NIL); sleep (5000); } create_general_protection_fault (0D, RANDOM_DLL_GPF); unstable_system_message (INFINITE_LOOP); return YOU_WILL_BE_ASSIMILATED; }